I think if the internet or social media do not exist, the way we grieve would still be back to the good ol' friends, family, support groups, prayer, solitude, writing, etc.
The human spirit is extremely resilient. She will do whatever it takes to survive, whether in a healthy or unhealthy way.
So even if social media does not exist, she may still find a way to "express" her intense grief one way or another.
I've taken suicide intervention training and if that woman had no one else to reach out to but the world through social media, I'd say she did a good thing for herself. A lot of suicide happens after much suffering in silence as a result of depression and every attempt to reach out, hysterically or otherwise needs and deserves to be taken seriously with hope for a positive life saving outcome. Deliberating on whether it's a "wolf cry" can and does result in tragedy too often. I would hope that removal of children to a safer environment would be one huge wake up call to that suffering mother that she needs to get herself together with professional help, for the sake of her living children.
What an incredibly compassionate perspective that probably not many "internet judges" think about. You and I both know about attempts at reaching out being ignored, that's for sure. I hope for the sake of the Facebook mom that the removal of her children was step #1 in her finding appropriate supports and taking some steps forward.
Thanks for posting this mom. I had no idea that you'd taken this type of training. Very valuable knowledge to have.
Thanks Kristi. Considering certain places I've worked at, it was good training to have, even if I only applied it by changing some of my vocabulary in challenging situations. It's just like anticipating our dog's behaviour with kids. I never want my dog to be the reason for some child's life long fear of dogs. And so I never want my words or assumptions to push someone over the edge.
That video would've been really hard for me to watch. It's hard to say what happens when you face such a loss. I'd barely want to talk to anyone, let alone wail into a camera. But like you said, it's not for me to judge. :S
It was extremely difficult to watch. Part of me felt immense compassion and another part of me was blown away at how she opened herself up to a public onslaught.
It's hard to even fathom. I wonder if she regrets being so open? Maybe the kids will be in a better place while mom gets some help. ,:(. I do feel bad for her.
I do think the internet offers a potentially problematic combo of anonymity and publicity — it's possible to rant to the whole world in a way you might not to people you know IRL, and it's easy to think you can do it without consequence. The mother you mentioned found out the hard way that's not true. I also think that grief has the power to unhinge us to the point where we feel justified in shutting down our internal governors and regulators and fully indulging our rawest emotions, like a toddler having a full-on meltdown. Meltdowns have their place, but they're like storms: meant to blow in, clear the atmosphere, and blow back out, rather than stick around without a break. Finding support for grieving can be a huge help — but losing your shit in a public arena, especially the internet where your display of hysterics never goes away — isn't a great idea.
Agreed on all points. When Curtis died I debated whether or not to even post an announcement on Facebook. The only reason I did is because it's impossible to reach out to everyone individually. Social media does give us that convenience.
I couldn't imagine going through emotions as unchecked as the Facebook mom though. I felt bad for her and hope she found her way back to a bit of normal once the dust settled.
Good question.
I think if the internet or social media do not exist, the way we grieve would still be back to the good ol' friends, family, support groups, prayer, solitude, writing, etc.
The human spirit is extremely resilient. She will do whatever it takes to survive, whether in a healthy or unhealthy way.
So even if social media does not exist, she may still find a way to "express" her intense grief one way or another.
I've taken suicide intervention training and if that woman had no one else to reach out to but the world through social media, I'd say she did a good thing for herself. A lot of suicide happens after much suffering in silence as a result of depression and every attempt to reach out, hysterically or otherwise needs and deserves to be taken seriously with hope for a positive life saving outcome. Deliberating on whether it's a "wolf cry" can and does result in tragedy too often. I would hope that removal of children to a safer environment would be one huge wake up call to that suffering mother that she needs to get herself together with professional help, for the sake of her living children.
What an incredibly compassionate perspective that probably not many "internet judges" think about. You and I both know about attempts at reaching out being ignored, that's for sure. I hope for the sake of the Facebook mom that the removal of her children was step #1 in her finding appropriate supports and taking some steps forward.
Thanks for posting this mom. I had no idea that you'd taken this type of training. Very valuable knowledge to have.
Thanks Kristi. Considering certain places I've worked at, it was good training to have, even if I only applied it by changing some of my vocabulary in challenging situations. It's just like anticipating our dog's behaviour with kids. I never want my dog to be the reason for some child's life long fear of dogs. And so I never want my words or assumptions to push someone over the edge.
That video would've been really hard for me to watch. It's hard to say what happens when you face such a loss. I'd barely want to talk to anyone, let alone wail into a camera. But like you said, it's not for me to judge. :S
It was extremely difficult to watch. Part of me felt immense compassion and another part of me was blown away at how she opened herself up to a public onslaught.
It's hard to even fathom. I wonder if she regrets being so open? Maybe the kids will be in a better place while mom gets some help. ,:(. I do feel bad for her.
I do think the internet offers a potentially problematic combo of anonymity and publicity — it's possible to rant to the whole world in a way you might not to people you know IRL, and it's easy to think you can do it without consequence. The mother you mentioned found out the hard way that's not true. I also think that grief has the power to unhinge us to the point where we feel justified in shutting down our internal governors and regulators and fully indulging our rawest emotions, like a toddler having a full-on meltdown. Meltdowns have their place, but they're like storms: meant to blow in, clear the atmosphere, and blow back out, rather than stick around without a break. Finding support for grieving can be a huge help — but losing your shit in a public arena, especially the internet where your display of hysterics never goes away — isn't a great idea.
Agreed on all points. When Curtis died I debated whether or not to even post an announcement on Facebook. The only reason I did is because it's impossible to reach out to everyone individually. Social media does give us that convenience.
I couldn't imagine going through emotions as unchecked as the Facebook mom though. I felt bad for her and hope she found her way back to a bit of normal once the dust settled.
Me too. The interwebs really need an eraser function.