Should You Share Intense Grief on the Internet?
It might completely backfire or it might save a life.
Back at the beginning of my grief journey, I scoured Facebook for groups pertaining specifically to my kind of loss. I was trying to find anyone who could relate to the feelings I felt.
I remember stumbling onto a video in one of the groups, posted by a mother who had also lost her son.
It’s accurate to say she was a massive train wreck. Worse than any train wreck I’d ever expected to see.
To put it plainly, this mother was hysterical. She hadn’t showered in weeks, her hair was matted, and her house was a disaster. She wailed into her camera yelling at the internet, “This is what losing a child looks like!!”
The woman went on and on (and on!) aggrandizing her pain to the point where she publicly admitted that she couldn’t see a reason to go on with life.
I followed up on the video a few days later and learned that as a result of the video her other children had been removed from her care.
I can only assume a concerned viewer had alerted authorities of her absence of will to live.
Whether this mother meant it literally or not, her public display of emotion did not work in her favor.
Is there such a thing as too much grief?
For some people maybe there is.
Referring back to the original video where the mother screamed, “This is what losing a child looks like!!” all I could think is no…it’s not. At least not for me.
Aside from the day I got the call, I’ve pretty much been a peaceful and private griever who still managed to take a shower and clean the house. My emotions are of no concern to the entire internet.
However, in the case of that one Facebook mom, it’s possible her public outcry saved her and her children from a much worse fate if she truly was suicidal.
Or maybe it was just a case of internet sensation. How can we, the public, ever know for sure?
Of course, everyone grieves at different intensity levels. It’s not for any one of us to judge.
But if the internet didn’t exist do you suppose this mother might have just gone the regular route of seeking out family and professional support?
What are your thoughts, if any?
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Good question.
I think if the internet or social media do not exist, the way we grieve would still be back to the good ol' friends, family, support groups, prayer, solitude, writing, etc.
The human spirit is extremely resilient. She will do whatever it takes to survive, whether in a healthy or unhealthy way.
So even if social media does not exist, she may still find a way to "express" her intense grief one way or another.
I've taken suicide intervention training and if that woman had no one else to reach out to but the world through social media, I'd say she did a good thing for herself. A lot of suicide happens after much suffering in silence as a result of depression and every attempt to reach out, hysterically or otherwise needs and deserves to be taken seriously with hope for a positive life saving outcome. Deliberating on whether it's a "wolf cry" can and does result in tragedy too often. I would hope that removal of children to a safer environment would be one huge wake up call to that suffering mother that she needs to get herself together with professional help, for the sake of her living children.