10 Comments

Nov.4,2020, my world stopped.

My youngest son,Garrett Michael, 24yrs old relinquished his life here on earth.

There is absolutely nothing to prepare a woman , for there is truly a physical pain and anguish at the loss of a child, but more, they take a real part of us with them.

He was, in every since of the word, a part of me.

For nine months our hearts beat as one. My life blood flowed to him. We shared a bond that NO ONE else ever would.

A large piece of myself died that day as well.

The crushing ache to my heart is more than one can bare most days.

Not sure how to move on...

Expand full comment

I've been traveling out of the country with uncertain internet so am only now catching up. I have not (yet, and am sending up prayers I don't have to) experienced the loss of a child, and I can only offer deep love and gobsmacked admiration for every mother who has been so wounded, and who manages, at some point, to put one foot in front of the other. I find Mother's Day kind of a fraught occasion, as the daughter of a mother who had lost her own mother when she (my future mom) was only 8 years old — but the onslaught of imposed cheery sentiment has got to be exquisite torture for bereaved moms. Sending you love, chocolate, gin — whatever gets you through the day.

Expand full comment
Apr 30, 2022Liked by Kristi

Thank you, Kristi! I have been dreading this Mothers Day and you so perfectly captured all that I've been holding. This will be my third Mothers Day without my son and emotionally I feel no further along than the first. I'm just getting better at looking like I'm further along. After reading both your posts, I found some freedom to take off the mask and and convey to others exactly what the Mother's Day experience is now like for me by sharing your post. Your helped provide me the perfect way to say others, if you want to wish me a Happy Mothers Day, please do it tomorrow, Sunday, May 1st or skip it all together. I'm working hard to accept that I've been "releaved" of my earthly parental duties as Vicki posted, unfortunately, I still feel very much fired. Thank you, Kristi, and to everyone in this forum for sharing. Much love to all Bereaved Mom's tomorrow and everyday.

Expand full comment
Apr 29, 2022Liked by Kristi

In response to "Motherhood is a career and I've been fired", this is the best analogy that I've ever heard or read. I absolutely love it. I would only comment "not fired but releaved of earthly parental duties." There's still and always will be the spiritual to take care of until you meet again. What happened to me, that only you Kristi, will understand, is what I call being fired from my career as a mom. Apparently, according to one, I sucked at my job. Knowing who I am as a mom on the inside, I never could have seen that coming. Moving on from there is emotionally my most difficult challenge because it hasn't transcended to a higher dimension. Love to all hurting moms out there.💜

Expand full comment

Sending lots of love to you and all other Bereaved Moms.

Expand full comment