My youngest son,Garrett Michael, 24yrs old relinquished his life here on earth.
There is absolutely nothing to prepare a woman , for there is truly a physical pain and anguish at the loss of a child, but more, they take a real part of us with them.
He was, in every since of the word, a part of me.
For nine months our hearts beat as one. My life blood flowed to him. We shared a bond that NO ONE else ever would.
A large piece of myself died that day as well.
The crushing ache to my heart is more than one can bare most days.
Thank you for sharing your raw feelings. I'm only a few weeks ahead of you in my journey. September 29th, 2020 is when I lost my son. He was 28.
What I do know is each journey is unique and no advice can fix it. I don't believe we ever "move on." I think we just eventually figure out how to move forward.
I've been traveling out of the country with uncertain internet so am only now catching up. I have not (yet, and am sending up prayers I don't have to) experienced the loss of a child, and I can only offer deep love and gobsmacked admiration for every mother who has been so wounded, and who manages, at some point, to put one foot in front of the other. I find Mother's Day kind of a fraught occasion, as the daughter of a mother who had lost her own mother when she (my future mom) was only 8 years old — but the onslaught of imposed cheery sentiment has got to be exquisite torture for bereaved moms. Sending you love, chocolate, gin — whatever gets you through the day.
Last year was much different from this year. I think now it'll just be awkward. I will be working at a Mother's Day brunch this year and can't wait to see what inappropriate comments slide out of my mouth when someone says Happy Mother's Day, or How many kids do you have, or How old is he? The list of possible questions and answers is endless. This will be an experiment in etiquette for me lol.
It might turn into a fun humor story for Medium after the fact.
Thank you, Kristi! I have been dreading this Mothers Day and you so perfectly captured all that I've been holding. This will be my third Mothers Day without my son and emotionally I feel no further along than the first. I'm just getting better at looking like I'm further along. After reading both your posts, I found some freedom to take off the mask and and convey to others exactly what the Mother's Day experience is now like for me by sharing your post. Your helped provide me the perfect way to say others, if you want to wish me a Happy Mothers Day, please do it tomorrow, Sunday, May 1st or skip it all together. I'm working hard to accept that I've been "releaved" of my earthly parental duties as Vicki posted, unfortunately, I still feel very much fired. Thank you, Kristi, and to everyone in this forum for sharing. Much love to all Bereaved Mom's tomorrow and everyday.
Anna, I appreciate your comments and thoughts so much. Mothers Day is such a complex time for any mom who is grieving a loss, either by death or by estrangement, as Vicki was referring to.
Sending you hugs 🫂 as you make your way through the coming week ❤
In response to "Motherhood is a career and I've been fired", this is the best analogy that I've ever heard or read. I absolutely love it. I would only comment "not fired but releaved of earthly parental duties." There's still and always will be the spiritual to take care of until you meet again. What happened to me, that only you Kristi, will understand, is what I call being fired from my career as a mom. Apparently, according to one, I sucked at my job. Knowing who I am as a mom on the inside, I never could have seen that coming. Moving on from there is emotionally my most difficult challenge because it hasn't transcended to a higher dimension. Love to all hurting moms out there.💜
Nov.4,2020, my world stopped.
My youngest son,Garrett Michael, 24yrs old relinquished his life here on earth.
There is absolutely nothing to prepare a woman , for there is truly a physical pain and anguish at the loss of a child, but more, they take a real part of us with them.
He was, in every since of the word, a part of me.
For nine months our hearts beat as one. My life blood flowed to him. We shared a bond that NO ONE else ever would.
A large piece of myself died that day as well.
The crushing ache to my heart is more than one can bare most days.
Not sure how to move on...
Thank you for sharing your raw feelings. I'm only a few weeks ahead of you in my journey. September 29th, 2020 is when I lost my son. He was 28.
What I do know is each journey is unique and no advice can fix it. I don't believe we ever "move on." I think we just eventually figure out how to move forward.
I've been traveling out of the country with uncertain internet so am only now catching up. I have not (yet, and am sending up prayers I don't have to) experienced the loss of a child, and I can only offer deep love and gobsmacked admiration for every mother who has been so wounded, and who manages, at some point, to put one foot in front of the other. I find Mother's Day kind of a fraught occasion, as the daughter of a mother who had lost her own mother when she (my future mom) was only 8 years old — but the onslaught of imposed cheery sentiment has got to be exquisite torture for bereaved moms. Sending you love, chocolate, gin — whatever gets you through the day.
Thank you Jan. Gin and chocolate will be fine :-)
Last year was much different from this year. I think now it'll just be awkward. I will be working at a Mother's Day brunch this year and can't wait to see what inappropriate comments slide out of my mouth when someone says Happy Mother's Day, or How many kids do you have, or How old is he? The list of possible questions and answers is endless. This will be an experiment in etiquette for me lol.
It might turn into a fun humor story for Medium after the fact.
Humor is the best defense. You go forth well-shielded :-)
Thank you, Kristi! I have been dreading this Mothers Day and you so perfectly captured all that I've been holding. This will be my third Mothers Day without my son and emotionally I feel no further along than the first. I'm just getting better at looking like I'm further along. After reading both your posts, I found some freedom to take off the mask and and convey to others exactly what the Mother's Day experience is now like for me by sharing your post. Your helped provide me the perfect way to say others, if you want to wish me a Happy Mothers Day, please do it tomorrow, Sunday, May 1st or skip it all together. I'm working hard to accept that I've been "releaved" of my earthly parental duties as Vicki posted, unfortunately, I still feel very much fired. Thank you, Kristi, and to everyone in this forum for sharing. Much love to all Bereaved Mom's tomorrow and everyday.
Anna, I appreciate your comments and thoughts so much. Mothers Day is such a complex time for any mom who is grieving a loss, either by death or by estrangement, as Vicki was referring to.
Sending you hugs 🫂 as you make your way through the coming week ❤
In response to "Motherhood is a career and I've been fired", this is the best analogy that I've ever heard or read. I absolutely love it. I would only comment "not fired but releaved of earthly parental duties." There's still and always will be the spiritual to take care of until you meet again. What happened to me, that only you Kristi, will understand, is what I call being fired from my career as a mom. Apparently, according to one, I sucked at my job. Knowing who I am as a mom on the inside, I never could have seen that coming. Moving on from there is emotionally my most difficult challenge because it hasn't transcended to a higher dimension. Love to all hurting moms out there.💜
Sending lots of love to you and all other Bereaved Moms.
Thank you 😊