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What a perfect way to express this — it explains why I quickly recoiled from the online grief groups I found after my husband died. I didn't expect a happy-face bandaid but I certainly wanted to heal and move forward. That didn't at all seem to be the goal of so many others on those forums.

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I agree with you. They can be invaluable in the beginning, absolutely! I appreciated the group I have been in immensely, when I needed it. But now it's time to focus on my own well-being.

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Grief can become a dam when the river needs to keep flowing. Good for you!

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Thanks Kris. The dam serves a purpose in the beginning. We need to feel it. But I love your metaphor of the river flowing. Indeed, it needs to keep flowing to water what's downstream.

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My grief is lifting after 11 months because I found a group that helps grieving parents become "shining light"parents for those to come next. I never expected this process to take me back to the origins of the universe, the key to consciousness, fractals and patterns in all of nature, and the belief that there is no death. I feel like I'm back in graduate school, but without the pressure of deadlines and tests. So much to read- -which is what I do best. My son was also curious and open-minded, but now he guides me. I would not have reached this stage of grief processing if I had not found Helping Parents Heal.

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Denise, like you, I have also been in a grief support group and it absolutely served its purpose in my life. I also took pride in listening to newcomers as I was further along than them.

It's interesting what you learn about yourself and the universe along the way, isn't it?

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I love this analogy daughter dearest. It sounds like you're approaching the light of freedom at the end of the tunnel. Keep walking towards that and find yourself ultimately on a whole new journey, one of your own choosing. Only look back at your sweetest memories and remember "butterflies are free". 💜🦋

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Butterflies are free, as we witnessed the other day ❤️

Funny, my Facebook memories today brought up that little boy who lined up his toy cars all the way through his house. We both commented how much it made us think of Curtis and his ugly guys 😁

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Jul 27, 2022
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I LOVE "memory mansion." It truly is and we all have to move in at some point. Thank you for the advice on dropping anchors.

You're right, the pangs of extreme sadness will still hit us occasionally but I just can't live inside of those. It hurts too much. I respect the sadness but it's not where I want to stay.

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