Thank you for this - my dad passed away from Covid and I find myself resentful that the pandemic has affected me this way while so many others have been unscathed. It isn't a helpful thought process so I've been trying to navigate through it the best way possible - this resonated with me.
Being hit with a devastating loss, especially suddenly, is bound to make us feel cast out from the "normal" world, isolated, apart, and somehow abnormal. But that's because daily life, in order to function, requires a certain facade, a certain distancing from the stark fact that loss and grief are inevitable if we live for any length of time (and if we don't, we'll be the cause of grief). It does help when you can get to the point where you understand that loss is normal, indeed universal. Another, perhaps harsher but ultimately bracing answer to the question "Why me?" that I've heard quoted is, "Why not you?"
Such a good way to share when we meet the complainers, but only if they are willing to really let the moral of story sinks in.
On "acceptance" vs "coming to terms" --- personally, they speak to me in different ways. I don't have a favorite in this case. It all depends on which stage of grief I am at? But it feels to me, "coming to terms" is a lot kinder on my soul, like a friend by my side as I walked through that pain....and with time, I might just reach the state of acceptance. MIGHT...and if/when I do, a new experience gained. There is no comparison for me.
Isn't it such a beautiful story? I listen to meditations every morning and it was like that one hit me on the right day at the right time. It certainly makes you think.
About acceptance, I'm not sure I'll ever reach that part. There are plenty of things in life I do accept but this isn't one of them.
In some ways, I feel like all I've known is loss. But I've been lucky to meet many compassionate people who make the world a better place. It doesn't negate the loss but it helps to feel like you're not alone.
Thank you for this - my dad passed away from Covid and I find myself resentful that the pandemic has affected me this way while so many others have been unscathed. It isn't a helpful thought process so I've been trying to navigate through it the best way possible - this resonated with me.
First, I'm truly sorry for the loss of your dad Kristie. Especially due to Covid, because the pandemic has been difficult enough, even without loss.
I felt the same way because my son died in 2020, in the thick of Covid, although not from Covid.
People who lost loved ones in the last two years experienced the pandemic in a wildly different way than those who didn't.
Thank you. I'm so sorry about your son - your writing is a beautiful tribute to him.
Being hit with a devastating loss, especially suddenly, is bound to make us feel cast out from the "normal" world, isolated, apart, and somehow abnormal. But that's because daily life, in order to function, requires a certain facade, a certain distancing from the stark fact that loss and grief are inevitable if we live for any length of time (and if we don't, we'll be the cause of grief). It does help when you can get to the point where you understand that loss is normal, indeed universal. Another, perhaps harsher but ultimately bracing answer to the question "Why me?" that I've heard quoted is, "Why not you?"
I have heard the "why not you" rebuttals times. Not in these circumstances but still, it absolutely makes sense.
I think in the fresh stages it's easier to question everything. But as time goes on it just becomes a matter of, "It is exactly what it is."
There is no reversing it so there's only one direction to move in.
Beautiful, Kristi. Thanks for sharing.
Love the story! wow.
Such a good way to share when we meet the complainers, but only if they are willing to really let the moral of story sinks in.
On "acceptance" vs "coming to terms" --- personally, they speak to me in different ways. I don't have a favorite in this case. It all depends on which stage of grief I am at? But it feels to me, "coming to terms" is a lot kinder on my soul, like a friend by my side as I walked through that pain....and with time, I might just reach the state of acceptance. MIGHT...and if/when I do, a new experience gained. There is no comparison for me.
Isn't it such a beautiful story? I listen to meditations every morning and it was like that one hit me on the right day at the right time. It certainly makes you think.
About acceptance, I'm not sure I'll ever reach that part. There are plenty of things in life I do accept but this isn't one of them.
and it's okay, if you don't reach that part. Maybe that IS acceptance by your own terms anyway, not by whatever society defines it. :)
In some ways, I feel like all I've known is loss. But I've been lucky to meet many compassionate people who make the world a better place. It doesn't negate the loss but it helps to feel like you're not alone.