15 Comments

Beautiful! I had plans for cremation keepsakes. My problem is that I cannot open my husband’s remains. He wanted his ashes scattered with mine and no service of any kind. So, I don’t have to open them. I sense it would be my undoing. Instead, I’m wearing my wedding ring. I guess my point is that grief is as individual as a snowflake, and those in grief just as fragile. Bless you for starting this newsletter and opening a safe space to fall. ❤️

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What a beautiful analogy, Kris. Grief is as individual as a snowflake ❤ I really love that and believe its true.

I'm really happy you're enjoying this little community so far. The connection I feel here with you all is so comfortable and gratifying. Much different than writing for a mass general audience.

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One of the great add-ons by our funeral home is that they will fill jewelry I buy in future - at no charge - I really appreciate that thoughtful service.

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Having never been through this exact loss, I'm not sure what I'd do. But know for sure, I'll never judge someone for how they grieve. Thank you for sharing your journey over the past year. 💓.

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In my case, a sense of letting go at the one-year mark was kind of a milestone, so no cremain jewelry (not sure if it existed then, but it's a very cool idea). But I lost a husband, not a son. Loss is universal, but all losses are individual, so this is most definitely a case of you do you. I think your "creepy" jewelry is lovely.

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I've experienced tiny nuggets of letting go but still feel guilty about putting certain items away. Like I'm putting him away. Just trying to create space, both literally and emotionally.

It feels like such a long process and you're right, I think timelines are different for everyone.

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I know better than to tell you there's no reason to feel guilty. You feel what you feel, and it takes whatever time it takes. You'll find space when it opens up.

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I just found your Substack. I lost my daughter (at birth) two years ago, and have been looking for writers who write so well about grief. Your jewelry and your words are beautiful. Thank you for sharing them both.

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Zawn, I am truly sorry for the loss of your daughter. The pain and struggle is all too real. I'm glad you found Grief Notes and hope you join in our discussions. I hope it helps.

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I think your jewelry is lovely. Most days, my Granny's rosary is in my pocket. She died in 2003. There's no timeline for grief.

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Agreed. Timelines are all individual journeys.

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Totally agree with keepsakes! My son and I both have fingerprint necklaces. May do cremains jewelry in future, too…

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Fingerprint keepsakes are the next thing I want. I paid the funeral home to do his prints. My original intent was a tattoo but Covid changed my mind. However, I've seen some beautiful necklaces with fingerprint pendants. Thanks for the reminder!

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Feb 2, 2022
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I guess we have to respect wishes don't we? I mean, nobody wants to risk a haunting if we disrespect their rules 😁

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Feb 2, 2022
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Hahaha I do welcome hauntings but only nice ones. My son and I used to joke about whoever died first had to come back and write messages in the steamy bathroom mirror. He hasn't come through on his end of that deal but I still see things everyday that make me feel like it's him haunting me 😊❤

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