Nothing Says "Dead" Like a Coroner's Report

It helps close an unfinished book

Image courtesy of Pixabay

I’m not sure if every death is accompanied by a coroner’s report or if they only apply to sudden or mysterious deaths that require investigation.

Surely when someone has been in the hospital for months battling a terminal illness, the coroner knows the cause of death. Do they also write an official report?

My boy died suddenly. In my heart, there were no questions but to a medical examiner, there was cause for investigation.

Although the coroner confirmed the details of his death within the first week, she assured me that a full report would be issued containing concrete information. If I wished to receive a copy I could formally request it, which I did.

Then I waited. And waited some more. In the end, it took sixteen months from the date of his death for the report to arrive.

The long wait was very unsettling. It made me think there were new details they hadn’t known in the beginning. It made me feel envious of the mothers in my support group who had received their reports within a couple of months.

Worst of all, it made me dread the day it would come and what it would tell me.

Finally, in February of 2022, it arrived in my inbox.

A coroner’s report can surprisingly soften your heart.

It softened mine.

I can’t pinpoint exactly how but seeing his name written out in full, then subsequently referred to as Mr. Keller made me feel as though he was still a somebody in their eyes.

Like he wasn’t just another dead guy, he was a man who was once full of life and substance.

The report detailed the position of his body in his bed and for me, it provided imagery of his very last moments on earth. It made him feel real for a brief moment, sixteen long months after he was no longer real.

Reading the words, “no traumatic injury or evidence of foul play,” filled me with a small cup of comfort even when I knew those were never a factor.

Finally, reading his classification of death as accidental made it all feel like a big mistake. And yet, he’s gone. There’s no mistaking it.

Even after you’ve seen your loved one lying lifeless for the very last time, nothing says “dead” like a coroner’s report.

For some reason, I needed the piece of paper as confirmation.

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I feel like I hit the jackpot with the medical examiner who handled my son’s case. She was a woman and women in the medical profession seem to be less textbook and more empathetic.

When I spoke to her on the phone she said something I will truly never forget and will never stop sharing with others.

She said, “This is not your son’s whole story. It’s just one page in his book.”

Whether she says that to all sad moms or not, it made a difference in how I initially processed his untimely death.

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Netflix features an outstanding Canadian drama series called Coroner.

It follows the personal and professional life of a female medical examiner based in Toronto. It’s surprisingly well done for a Canadian production (I hate that I felt a need to say that).

Ironically, I only discovered the series after I became a grieving mom but it reminded me of the woman I dealt with in my case.

I’d like to think every coroner has her level of respect for our departed souls.

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I realize this was a weird and blunt topic but I try to make a point of not censoring thoughts and feelings in this erratic journey.

I’ve found that by writing about the weirder things related to death, others sometimes share the same sentiments. Often, all it takes is one person to validate it.

So…do you have any thoughts or comments to share about coroners?