10 Comments

In March, near the second anniversary of my husband's death, a young woman tried to shame me for mentioning my husband. I told a very brief funny story. It's not like I talk about him all the time or weep and moan. I like to remember his humor and wisdom. Except for my widow friends, others want me to pretend he never existed. We're a soulless and selfish bunch in our culture.

Expand full comment

Wow Kris, I'm so sorry you had to experience such a callous human being. That's actually pretty shocking and stupid if you ask me.

What do people expect our stories to be about other than loved ones we've spent a significant portion of our lives with??

Expand full comment

Thank you, Kristi.

Expand full comment

I will be posthumously offended if those I leave behind turn into sad sacks every time they think of me.

Expand full comment

And I will be offended if I don’t have a scale model condo building on top of my grave lol. Someone ship me back to Jamaica when I die.

Expand full comment

I know! How cool is that?

Expand full comment

You can always haunt them XD. That's what I plan to do! Lmao!

Expand full comment

I've been thinking about something for a while Kristi. Something to do with cards and grief. There never seems to a "good" one for the memoriam date. And it feels plain wrong to call it an anniversary. For all those who lost someone whether through a long illness, or unexpectedly. What would have helped you ? Or what do you wish you heard from someone? It's been gnawing at me..

If you are interested, could you send me a PM? Pretty please??

Expand full comment

Honestly?? Hearing anything from anyone on the anniversary would be nice. I've found that people just don't remember because it's not a "date" in their world. However, I've only been through one anniversary so far but the first one was the most important. As time passes I suspect even more people will just forget.

What I'd like to hear from anyone is a bit of understanding that it's a rough day.

Maybe that's exactly it:

"In case you're wishing to hear from anyone today, let me be that someone."

That sounds like an appropriate card verse for a death anniversary.

PS, I've heard it being called an Angelversary if that helps.

Expand full comment

❤️ Thank you!!! Hugs! I think that sums it up beautifully.

Expand full comment