What I Thought About International Widows Awareness Day
Versus what it actually is.
June 23rd is International Widows Awareness day. I’ve had this topic earmarked for months waiting on June as the appropriate time to post it.
My first thoughts about it were, duh…we’re all aware that widows exist. Why not call it an appreciation day or a reach-out day instead?
I’m sure every widow would appreciate the show of concern if you reached out to her.
I’ve never understood the general concept of “awareness” days because nine times out of ten, WE ARE AWARE of whatever affliction those days are highlighting. But what are we actually DOING about it?
So, in preparation for this post, I Googled International Widows Awareness Day.
It’s not at all what I thought.
It’s more heartbreaking.
The United Nations founded this international day in 2011 to draw attention to the voices and experiences of widows and to galvanize the unique support they need.
The reason for the “unique” support? Because out of an estimated 258 million widows worldwide, one in ten of them are left living in extreme poverty after the death of their husbands.
I’d never thought of it that way and had no idea.
The UN’s awareness campaign actually worked…I am now aware.
This is what their website says:
“Widows have historically been left unseen, unsupported, and unmeasured in our societies.
Experience from the past, shows that widows are often denied inheritance rights, have their property grabbed after the death of a partner, and can face extreme stigma and discrimination, as perceived ‘carriers’ of disease. Worldwide, women are much less likely to have access to old age pensions than men, so the death of a spouse can lead to destitution for older women. In the context of lockdowns and economic closures, widows may not have access to bank accounts and pensions to pay for healthcare if they too become ill or to support themselves and their children. With lone-mother families and single older women already particularly vulnerable to poverty, this is an area that needs urgent attention.”
Can you imagine battling against all those odds while in the midst of trying to grieve in peace? I suppose some of you can imagine and I’m sorry.
It was interesting scouring the internet for a feature image of a widow. The bulk of them displayed young, beautiful women wearing impeccably placed black, mesh veils like the one shown up top.
They looked like TV widows…the kind who inherit all their husband’s assets and insurance money after he dies.
But then I came across this one.
Who do you suppose is taking care of her basic human needs in the absence of her husband?
I didn’t lose a husband, I lost a child who wasn’t a factor in my financial well-being. So I can say for certain that I don’t know what a widow goes through on top of her grief.
So, to all you widows who might be reading this…we see you. We are now aware.
I wasn't aware there was such an awareness day . . . but it's a good thing. Being widowed when you have at least some life insurance is bad enough, but there are women in other parts of the world who essentially become throwaways the moment their husband dies. Some of the Hindu traditions around widowhood are especially harsh. I'm pasting below a paragraph from an analysis of the topic on the site "Scientific Research" -- because it's so stark and eye-opening:
"In the Indian context a widow in Hindu religion occupies the lowest position in Hindu social order (Das, 1886). In Hindi (language spoken by majority of Indians) the word widow translates into vidhwa meaning the one bereft of her sovereign (Macdonell, 1929). The peculiarity of the Hindu widowhood experience, especially an upper-caste one is the severity of cruelty and social ostracism that the widow is subjected to. She is still considered married to the deceased husband (Clémentin-Ojha, 1988) and is inevitably held accountable for the death of her husband even though he might have died of illness, old age or any other affliction. His death is acutely reflective of failure of her wifely duties in actions, deeds and even thoughts. The extremity of social ostracism is reflected in abandonment of widows in cities considered holy in Hinduism such as Haridwar and Varanasi where she is to perpetually mourn the death of her husband and atone her sins till the end of her life."